In, Out, and Up

In a moment of complete transparency, I must say that my heart breaks. For those who I love, for those who I know, and for those unfamiliar to me, I’m experiencing an odd sort of pain for the human experience. So much in life confuses me. There is simply so much I can neither articulate nor utter. As people, why do we search for pearls in the mud? We blame each other; we blame institutions; we blame a higher power. The hate hurts. It grows like a sickness inside.

And then I feel guilty. What is my level of pain compared to the suffering so many others experience day in and day out? At very best, it’s a shallow form of empathy. No matter the scope or source, is this pain, then, what really unites us? It helps to know that someone else is in the mud with me, but I still feel dirty.

Then it comes. Something beyond me, above me, reaches into my dire reality and forces my gaze heavenward. I’m pulled into a reality more true than anything I’ve ever experienced. How quickly I forget that I, that we, are meant for more than what we’ve settled for. The bullets still fly, the rains still come, but I have an up, I have an out, I have an in. I have more than just the here and now and that truth helps me live fully in the here and now.


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